Yesterday I found myself extremely discouraged. I put myself in a position that required me to be vulnerable with my previous employer and in the end, I was let down. I was disappointed with how my vlog turned out after I felt like I put in so much work to put it together. I was discouraged because my babies are growing up and it breaks my heart. I wish I could relive their births, their milestones, and their entire childhood that has brought us to this very moment. I wish we had the funds and the space to add three or four more babies to our family because being a mama fills my heart unlike anything else. I wish we were in a place where we could become foster parents and even adopt a child.

It was just one of those days. Nothing seemed good enough. I was completely taking the blessings in my life for granted.

Now here I am this morning, praising God for His faithfulness. Questioning how I can allow myself to feel so unworthy and mediocre when He created me for a reason. He has a magnificent plan for my life!

Despite the disappointing news from a previous employer yesterday morning, today I received an email from HR at my current job informing me that I have been selected for an interview for another position and that I will be able to pick up a bonus tomorrow. God has a plan. When He closes a door in your life, it’s because He has something better planned. Today I am trusting Him and His plan for my life.

Sure, I received disappointing news and was hoping for a different outcome, but I need to remember that God closed that door months ago. When I reached out to my former employer, God confirmed that it isn’t where I am meant to be and has blessed me tremendously with a bonus and an opportunity for growth in my current position.

Sure, I want more babies, but God has already blessed us more than we deserve with three healthy kiddos that I love more than words can say. God chose me to be their mama and I will spend all my days on this earth praying for them and kissing those sweet faces.

Sure, the vlog I published on Monday wasn’t perfect, but I need to remember my reasons for starting my channel. It wasn’t for followers or for a million views, and it certainly isn’t something I have invested into. It’s to film my life with my family. Days that we will never get back with our kiddos. One day I will be so glad I captured these moments and will admire the simplicity of the life we’re living.

Am I the only one who thinks it’s so frustrating when you watch your favorite vloggers and they have flawless videos posted on their channels? They make their videos with their $1,200 cameras in their BEAUTIFUL homes, drive new cars, and are always doing shopping hauls and going through Starbucks. They portray perfect lives. And then here I am, in our home that we rent. Updating our ancient appliances or putting on a coat of fresh paint isn’t an option for us. Our kitchen has paneling and the ugliest patterned floors you’ve ever seen, straight from 1955 when the house was built. We can’t put down new flooring or finish the basement. Even if we could, why would we want to knowing that this isn’t our forever home?

It seems like I always have a mountain of dirty laundry and a dirty living room rug. Having only 881 of useable square footage, we have a lot of clutter. My husband and I do not drive new cars and we are on a budget, so I can’t go through Starbucks every morning or spend $100 at Target every 3 days for content to post on my channel. I don’t grab lunch with my friends once a week and we don’t travel. How could I not lose hope and enthusiasm when I see the turn out of my videos compared to videos like those?

Comparison is such an ugly thing. We should never compare our lives to someone else’s. We are all doing the best we can with what we have. Why look down on someone for having less than you and why envy someone who has more than you?

Don’t get me wrong, guys. When I do have some spending money, you will without a doubt find me sippin’ on an iced coffee as I stroll aimlessly through the aisles of Target. You’ll even see the famous Target haul vlog when it happens. But on the days that it doesn’t, I cannot let myself feel less than.

On days that you’re feeling overwhelmed, discouraged or disheartened, take the time to pray. Thank God for all of His blessings, even on the days you’re feeling down because I promise you, you are blessed more than you know. Somewhere someone is happy with less than what you have.

Today I’m thanking God for my husband who provides for our family and loves me wholeheartedly. He is the most loving, selfless man and I cannot imagine my life without him.

I’m thanking Him for our children and every memory I have of them from the minute they were born until now.

I am thanking Him for my job that He has blessed me with. He has led me to a place that is so rewarding and offers opportunities for growth.

I am thanking Him for our small house that we call home. Although we don’t have much space or new, updated appliances, we do have our family together and we have everything we need. Our things may not be pretty, but they are useful. Materialistic things will never fully satisfy us, only God can fill that void in our lives.

My vlog may not be flawless or even the least bit interesting to you or anyone else, but to me it’s meaningful. I hope that I can connect with other mama’s and that we can lift up and empower one another.

Do not allow yourself to be discouraged over things that are out of your control. Rest assured that God will give you what you need, when you need it.